Haunted: It Continues

Another dream, yet the complexity of it is absolutely delicious. Mending of who we have been to one another, a reconciliation in the ether, and finally a confession: "I love her. I fucking love her ok?!!" He happened to announce to his parents in the other room not knowing I was walking down the hall. Then he left, a sudden absence due to that he had finally acknowledged the ghost that haunted him and was overwhelmed by it, or in this case ME. When he returned after I had had a change of clothes he wished to talk with me. Peering into his eyes I softly spoke "I fucking love you too." His gaze broke away from mine as though I had caught him in a lie... But instead he quickly met my ocular portals again. With our vision locked to one another, I walked towards him. I leaned up slowly to ask silently if I could kiss him. He didn't move, but instead welcomed me to him as though a hunger was patiently waiting to be fulfilled. I kissed his bottom lip and mouth gently, then he returned the juicy and fully expressed kiss to answer my question to do this. I was holding the lapels of his dark grey autumn coat as I released myself from our kiss. Peering into his brown eyes I knew we were ok. But in the dream, the only reason for the confession was due to his moving out of my province and he figured he'd never see me again so why not come clean. He had to pop out again to make further arrangements but promised to return to me so we may have better time together and to see what is to happen.

I woke from this dream feeling sad, loved, playful, and accepted. Yet part of me wonders if his soul essence simply wanted to give me a heads up on not ever seeing him again. It has been months since I have, and yet I may honestly say that my dream version of him is much more delectable that his corporeal self. I will now confess, I am still in love with the ghost of him, but have completely let go of him in the physical. Living multidimensionally is complicated to some, but to myself, it is another day of my life.

~ Arthena Sophia

Missed Opportunity

He chose the wrong one.

The path most travelled.

Thinking he could have joy, fulfillment, and self satisfaction.

He thought love was waiting for him... but it did not last long. One, two, maybe three years of marriage; or was it when the first baby was born?  He was creating what he knew, and what he also didn't want.  He was forced under the knife of obligation to acheive what a man of his background should: Get married and have children preferably before the age of 30.  His sister did, his cousin did - so why couldn't he?  And after 12 years being locked into a loveless marriage, he wanted out.  He knew he should have listened to his heart and went for that feisty older woman with the spirit of a gypsy; at least for a little while.  He knew he should have challenged the status quo, and command that he be accepted as he is, not the mold they had squeezed him into.  He made a miss-take, or received a lesson.  His heart was heavy for the love he longed for, for the love he knew the gypsy woman could have given him.  He wondered that if he contacted her after the divorce from his wife, if she would still love him.  He wondered if the touch of her hand would heal his heart.  It was this day, a glorious and sunny day, so many years after he chose the wrong path, that she had found the loving mate she was seeking.  He saw his lost love in the arms of a strong and yet gentle faced man, both of them smiling from their soul.  It was this day, that he knew, he had lived his life for other people, and never once was brave enough to live his life, for his true spirit.

~ by Arthena Sophia