Revisiting the Shadows

"revisiting the shadows

of where I once stood

not once do I flinch

this is my neighbourhood

familiar by name

this dark place has become

and now where I stand

this blackness is home."

~Arthena Sophia

This place, this dark place of my own solitude and secrets smells of camphor and whiskey.  This place welcomes me again as I wonder the endless book cases of my thoughts during this life.  I walk over to one, which seems dusty n old, and read the context "growing up". As I open the pages I laugh at all of the thoughts I have had on this very subject.  Today I realized as I traveled via public transport, how juvinile we are in our 20's.  We have no idea who we are, not even individually.  We are still a slave to our emotions, even if we ponder them.  We still take everything personally.  So I look at myself, and who I have become, and who I want to be.  The things I take personally, are now meant for me to personally take, and transmute into something more.  My reaction to non-acceptance, my aggressive opinions meant to antagonize, and my reaction to ignorance, all are ways to which I am becoming mature.  Now as I transition 8 to 9 (coded, don't try to figure it out) I stumble upon an insight that I was cultivating long before this moment.  The subject of maturity.

Many people who are acclaimed minds have stated along the lines that maturity is the responsibility of self, all emotions, thoughts and behaviours. But I will take it a bit further now, maturity IS the age which one no longer needs the temperament of childhood to create what they desire.  For example: whining.  A mature person will not whine to get something, they will simply ask.  A second example is temper tantrums: a mature person will not rant and flail when they do not obtain what they want, but accept the circumstance and try another way to which they may receive it (void of emotional outbursts).

I took stock in a relationship that I had when I was 36 and my boyfriend was 22.  We lived together for a short while.  But I grew frustrated, and actually had a few temper tantrums, when he would not behave how I wanted him to.  How juvinile of me to even expect.  At 22, a legal adult is not a man, he has barely left his mother's womb.  There is no way for the average 22 year old to even comprehend the demands of life, and the responsibility to self if they choose to grow.  My gosh, at 22, all I wanted to do was dance, drink, hang out with friends, copulate, and shop.  I had no desire to work hard, save, pay bills, and be a responsible member of society.  I still lived at home, and had most of my things covered for survival.  Life was easy... but I was a brat.  When I revisit my clueless expectations of this relationship, I see how ignorant and lost I really was.  Now, as I am approached by 20 somethings, I look at what they have to offer me, and what I have to offer them - and if it is mutually beneficial.  I also must look at my realistic expectations of a relationship with these people.

I hear over and over again the cries of babies in adult bodies wanting love... yet, is their not a neighbouring infant also crying the same cries? They should arrange a play date and end their tears.  But it is not that simple.  Society expects so much of those graduating from university in their mid 20's that I feel we as a society need to stop this.  These young people are still of infant mind.  Their needs are still of ego, and narcissm.  They simply need time to grow UP.  The only sure fire way for any young person to mature at an earlier age, is when they are made to work to support the home, or go out to find food for their siblings.  Or be sent out to beg, so that the family has heat for the winter.  THIS grows maturity.  Life experience grows maturity.  Not neccesarily AGE.  I was talking to a brilliant mind yesterday how one woman I knew lived at home, unmarried, until she was 46 (when we stopped being in contact).  Yet in so many ways, she was a child.  A girl in a woman's body wanting a mate to behave as daddy.  Oh how this is so misguided in our age today.  We coddle our children way too long, and protect ourselves from them leaving the nest - but they must.  They must go out and see the world on their own.

I observe now, the millennials who are not 20'something cool, but are actually adult fools trying to find the emerald city.  They are told to do this or buy that, yet have no clear guidance how to be who they are.  This is one of my jobs, or life purposes.  Not to raise another persons adult child, but to let them know that it is ok to explore the world, to wonder the dark corridors of self, to feel all emotions and to learn to master them.  I encourage all people, of all ages still stuck in infancy, to leave the nest, to fly.  We cannot truly know who we are, until we are tested with life trials to find out.  Only through pain, pressure, discomfort and survival, will we know how strong, vulnerable, wise, ignorant, intelligent or dumb we are.  Only when we are brave enough to light a torch to enter the unknown, will we then know ourselves.

My writing of this blog is a way for me to acknowledge where I have gone, and remind myself where I am going.  today I hold onto the adage "do not let the behaviour of others disturb your inner peace." It is on this day, that I feel, I may have begun to apply this.

Peace and Light as you travel your shadows,
Arthena Sophia

A Priestess May Well Be...

You are able to recognize a Priestess only during her preparation for ceremony. Otherwise she could be anyone. A Priestess may heavily adorn herself with make up or jewelry to show status. She may also dress in attire that would awaken her power. What many may not know is that a Priestess, even when not in ceremony, is in constant communication with the other worlds. She is working to master the control of these communications, as well as to manage them when important information does come through. The Priestess will often show signs of telepathy or psychic abilities. She may also choose to hold on to this information, should she need it later against you. She is not good nor bad - she IS. A Priestess is the master of the spirit with the physical - after all, it is women who are the portal between worlds of life and death. The power of the Priestess would depend on how well she is to master herself, and her chosen craft. There are different areas where a Priestess may choose to be of service to, but no matter which faith, philosophy or dogma that she chooses, know she is a powerful force, and not one to ever be trifled with. Yet if you do cross her path, and make her cross, make amends quickly. As she grows from Master into Sage, she will learn the discernment of who to curse, who to vex, and who to just let alone. For one of the best ways to recognize a Priestess is by listening to the words she uses, or by watching her dance. A Priestess is a free, wild woman of mystery and sensuality. This is both her power, and her way to open up to the information on the other side. Oh, you may also have an idea of who is a Priestess by how open her eyes are when she looks at you. And if you only see yourself, in a way that is unsettling, that the owner of those eyes may just be a magickal woman, known as a Priestess. - by Arthena Sophia

Inhale My Lust

Pan
Devil
Demon
Baphomet
Lucifer
Lover
Temptor
God of All Pleasures...
Yet, misunderstood.

A couple of years ago I remember having a conversation with a dear friend who was visited by Lucifer, as the angel, one of darkness, who isn't evil, but rather looms in the shadows.  As he dwells in darkness, what he reveals is the true light he brings.  This light is the one feared by those in religion, as what it allows is self governing, self responsibility, and also, self induced suffering.  This angel of earthly desires simply only wants you to have what you want, and yet, if you are destroyed by it - so it is.  Unlike the benevolent God in the sky who gives you what you wish based on what is best for you, and what shall raise you to your highest good, the Lord of light grants you your exact wish.  You want a job with more money? Done.  You want a better sex life? Done  You want more people to respect you? Done.  Yet... beware the adage "be careful what you wish for, or you might just get it."  So when your wish turns on you, and you are consumed by it, you turn to God and blame him for allowing you this turmoil.  Yet God knows the will of the Dark Lord, and knows that some have to learn how to achieve what they want, rather than just be given it.  Life however is the best teacher, and the master of these teachings is Lucifer.

I have talked endlessly on the power within the darkness, but never have I quite eluded to how to cultivate it for your own benefit.  Years ago, I came across a woman who offered embracing therapy.  She would bring you back to the first time you are able to recollect a feeling of shame, abandonment, pain, sorrow, or regret.  Then she guides you to embrace this feeling, and learn the lessons from it.  During my accounts with her, I learned of how far back my dense energies go. I learned to derive power from accepting those feelings.  I also learned to transmute them into light.  I do this by imagining myself as a great violet flame, of transmutable light... and every dark or dense feeling, is like a coal in my fire.  And yet, as I burn, I feed on the energy within that coal - lust for example.  While I am consuming this sensation of physical pleasure, I raise it.  Like the kundalini I raise it.  As it rises, I feel myself open up, expand and explore the world around me.  Then when it reaches the chakra to transmute it (in this case my heart - into love and healing), then I explode this coal and allow the residual energy to envelope me, changing from black to green, or pink, thus healing my body, my soul, my mind, and my heart.  The lust is no more, and all I feel is love, and lightness.

Now back to my love affair with the Dark One.

Pan is the Greek Pantheon God of Lust and Desires.  To be honest, nothing turns me on more than this fella. As his ability to transform into the delicious mate I desire for my own gratification, he also offers to reveal the areas of me that hide my gifts, talents, and passions.  Through these experiences, I learn of ways to earn money, I tap into energy to persevere through adversity, and most of all - I find healing.  In my many encounters with the Demon of Earthly pleasures, I have been gifted not just physical things, but a closer relationship with my divine self.  For the deeper I go into my abyss, the higher I rise into the heavens.  I could tell you stories of elation and pure love for another... but you may read about that on my other blog section where my experiences of higher frequencies may be found.  But this section, is for me to explore, and share with you, the delicious power of fueling the self with ones own darkness.

Our world is in polarity, this is not hidden.  But the free will of man has been spoiled by materialistic items, and selfish desires not worthy of our kind.  With all this, these wishes are granted.  Some desire to hunt a great beast, and in so achieving this feel the hatred of the world on his shoulders.  Some want to have immeasurable fame, only to be used as a slave for another's gain.  While all of these wishes were granted, what came has been what they may perceive as hell. This is the work of Lucifer, not God.  While many of these people praise God for these achievements, he passes the baton to Lucifer, with a wink and a nod.

The bible has it wrong... God and the Devil are not in opposition, but are a team.  Granting healing, joy and pleasure to all of humanity.  Yes Lucifer does heal.  Sometimes in ways unseen.  Removing tumors so a scientist can discover an atomic bomb that kills millions, or allowing a cripple to walk, only to then bomb a building.  Perhaps allowing the blind to see, and causing them to crash into a tower.  Yet, God only gets the praise for healing if it is in complete benevolence.  I have said, the balance must be kept.  We cannot appreciate love, without knowing fear; we cannot know joy, without feeling shame.  We cannot know acceptance, without experiencing hate.  So during these times of work in the 4th dimension we are supposed to reach deep into the dark recesses of ourselves to simply pull out that candle to light our way home.

Right now, Pan has brought me here, and before him Baphomet, as the one known as the devil. He is your friend and your enemy, for he is aspects of the self you deny.

~ Arthena Sophia

Awakening Her

I had her sleeping...
...waiting.

So many wanted to taste  her, experience her - yet none thus far were strong enough to nourish her.  Instead of feeding the shadow, I had placed her in the care of a warm gentle place, so that in time - when one of strength came, she would be rustled and then awaken.

There is a hunger that she needs, one that is not about selfishness or cruelty, but one of mystery.  The shadow she dwells in is one of myth and legend, few are able to meet her at the place where the shadows stop being cast, and the dark glow of her being emerges.  

Who she is within, only a woman of strength may find her - waiting.  Once accepted, if she is present, she will empower her host with energy, power, wisdom, and strength.  She has been burned, torn, tortured, hidden, and buried.  As Mother wishes her daughters to come forward, she is the one to lead them.  This is the Goddess of retribution, of justice, of valor.  She is the one to bring forth the chaos of change, so that order may be fashioned after.  She is the darkness in Pandora's box... and a specific touch that has been gifted is from the one awakening her.

A touch that is soft yet firm, who will embrace her wildness and passion.  A person of equal strength and consideration.  Perhaps she has been awaiting YOU, and this is now why she stirs.  Perhaps you are her consort, or alli.  But as you enter the auric field which she dwells, she smiles, and longs for your touch - again.

~by Arthena Sophia Aradhana~
  www.facebook.com/arthena.aradhana

** Image is by: eloyh19.deviantart.com