Revisiting the Shadows

"revisiting the shadows

of where I once stood

not once do I flinch

this is my neighbourhood

familiar by name

this dark place has become

and now where I stand

this blackness is home."

~Arthena Sophia

This place, this dark place of my own solitude and secrets smells of camphor and whiskey.  This place welcomes me again as I wonder the endless book cases of my thoughts during this life.  I walk over to one, which seems dusty n old, and read the context "growing up". As I open the pages I laugh at all of the thoughts I have had on this very subject.  Today I realized as I traveled via public transport, how juvinile we are in our 20's.  We have no idea who we are, not even individually.  We are still a slave to our emotions, even if we ponder them.  We still take everything personally.  So I look at myself, and who I have become, and who I want to be.  The things I take personally, are now meant for me to personally take, and transmute into something more.  My reaction to non-acceptance, my aggressive opinions meant to antagonize, and my reaction to ignorance, all are ways to which I am becoming mature.  Now as I transition 8 to 9 (coded, don't try to figure it out) I stumble upon an insight that I was cultivating long before this moment.  The subject of maturity.

Many people who are acclaimed minds have stated along the lines that maturity is the responsibility of self, all emotions, thoughts and behaviours. But I will take it a bit further now, maturity IS the age which one no longer needs the temperament of childhood to create what they desire.  For example: whining.  A mature person will not whine to get something, they will simply ask.  A second example is temper tantrums: a mature person will not rant and flail when they do not obtain what they want, but accept the circumstance and try another way to which they may receive it (void of emotional outbursts).

I took stock in a relationship that I had when I was 36 and my boyfriend was 22.  We lived together for a short while.  But I grew frustrated, and actually had a few temper tantrums, when he would not behave how I wanted him to.  How juvinile of me to even expect.  At 22, a legal adult is not a man, he has barely left his mother's womb.  There is no way for the average 22 year old to even comprehend the demands of life, and the responsibility to self if they choose to grow.  My gosh, at 22, all I wanted to do was dance, drink, hang out with friends, copulate, and shop.  I had no desire to work hard, save, pay bills, and be a responsible member of society.  I still lived at home, and had most of my things covered for survival.  Life was easy... but I was a brat.  When I revisit my clueless expectations of this relationship, I see how ignorant and lost I really was.  Now, as I am approached by 20 somethings, I look at what they have to offer me, and what I have to offer them - and if it is mutually beneficial.  I also must look at my realistic expectations of a relationship with these people.

I hear over and over again the cries of babies in adult bodies wanting love... yet, is their not a neighbouring infant also crying the same cries? They should arrange a play date and end their tears.  But it is not that simple.  Society expects so much of those graduating from university in their mid 20's that I feel we as a society need to stop this.  These young people are still of infant mind.  Their needs are still of ego, and narcissm.  They simply need time to grow UP.  The only sure fire way for any young person to mature at an earlier age, is when they are made to work to support the home, or go out to find food for their siblings.  Or be sent out to beg, so that the family has heat for the winter.  THIS grows maturity.  Life experience grows maturity.  Not neccesarily AGE.  I was talking to a brilliant mind yesterday how one woman I knew lived at home, unmarried, until she was 46 (when we stopped being in contact).  Yet in so many ways, she was a child.  A girl in a woman's body wanting a mate to behave as daddy.  Oh how this is so misguided in our age today.  We coddle our children way too long, and protect ourselves from them leaving the nest - but they must.  They must go out and see the world on their own.

I observe now, the millennials who are not 20'something cool, but are actually adult fools trying to find the emerald city.  They are told to do this or buy that, yet have no clear guidance how to be who they are.  This is one of my jobs, or life purposes.  Not to raise another persons adult child, but to let them know that it is ok to explore the world, to wonder the dark corridors of self, to feel all emotions and to learn to master them.  I encourage all people, of all ages still stuck in infancy, to leave the nest, to fly.  We cannot truly know who we are, until we are tested with life trials to find out.  Only through pain, pressure, discomfort and survival, will we know how strong, vulnerable, wise, ignorant, intelligent or dumb we are.  Only when we are brave enough to light a torch to enter the unknown, will we then know ourselves.

My writing of this blog is a way for me to acknowledge where I have gone, and remind myself where I am going.  today I hold onto the adage "do not let the behaviour of others disturb your inner peace." It is on this day, that I feel, I may have begun to apply this.

Peace and Light as you travel your shadows,
Arthena Sophia

Rise from FEAR

FEAR

Face

Everything

And 

Rise

Yet how many of you feel fear and stand like a doe facing an 18 wheeler? The purpose of creating fear is to raise ones adrenaline. This hormone is very interesting as it releases a scent... you know that one picked up by animal predators. Often when this is happening our blood they say has a specific taste to it.  It has been known through many spiritual channels that fear is what the ruling class, and the dark ones seek to keep creating in us.  Our adrenaline is feeding SOMETHING.

What is that thing?

It is something of your worst nightmares, a concoction of your whole life and all of the stories of boogiemen you were ever told.  Yet like all perceptions, it is false.  Another FEAR interpretation is False Evidence Appearing Real.  Have you ever noticed that sometimes when enough time has passed, that as you look back on why you were afraid of something or someone was due to the evidence your own mind convinced you was true?  If you answered yes, then trust me, fear is an illusion. Literally.

But as a human being, we do feel fear for good reason: Survival.  But this emotion has been manipulated by what we know as the media.  And if we cannot be made to fear, we will be made to anger.  But that is for another blog entry.

As we feel fear, we have two choices. To act, or to ignore.  If we act we may have to evaluate if our life is threatened, or if our own perception is faulty.  If we ignore it, it may be because we are about to die anyway, or because the fear is false.  Fear is at the base of all hidden emotions and feelings, and no matter what reason you may feel in the dense energies, fear is the beginning and the end.

So as you look into the abyss of fear, fear will be looking back at you.  Decide which will triumph.


~ by Arthena Sophia

Darkened Lover

"Fuck me hard against a wall
and pound me with your cock
Hold me close give me your all
as my nails scratch down your back."

Yeah, this is the kinda love I desire.  Not one of violence or malice, but one with such a deep acceptance and comprehension that my carnal desires are quenched.

There are not many men who can handle a woman like me.  One who knows her power, her divinity, and her carnal urges to such a mastery, that no other delivery of fucking will do.  I have chosen a few to engage with energetically who will satisfy my energy needs like the true succubus I am, and who will also be open to the true healing transformation this offers.  Both Gods and Demons have tried to please me, and to be honest, it is only when they are combined in the same human vessel is my thirst ever quenched.   Thanks to social media I have found both my niche and my authentic self in delving into the power of the orgasm to propel forward, and to manifest profound desires into my life. 

The only lover that will even match me now is one who has managed to integrate both his light with his shadow; to glow in the dark if you will.  One who will allow me to be sadistic and domineering in a way of only love and respect.  Reading this you are likely perplexed by these statements, and if so, I welcome you to the way of the shadow.  For many months I have been cultivating on how to thrive in the darkness, and revealing hidden strengths and skill overlooked by societal programming.  The two things I have embraced that go against much of history for women is that I fucking love sex (with the right person), and I am empowered enough to get what I want (in sex and in life).  As my soul evolves into a dual chalice of solid and liquid, know that there is a quickening of others who are doing the same.  It is likely that others who have also accepted the duality as a unity have lead me to this place within myself.

The shift in dark love (not cruel love) has been a great one. It has been shown via cruelty, ignorance, taboo, and even non-conventional means.  Yet it is wonderful to see.  2 people, two authentic people who adore one another so unconditionally that no level of vulgarity is seen as wrong.  Often the new age dogma of unconditional love is something only allowed in the light, or lighter grey areas.  But to truly love someone unconditionally you must see the beast, learn to work with it, or allow it to be, and then love it as part of the one who stands before you.  True unconditional love is transformational.  Yet how many can look into their beloveds eyes, see a demon and still love them.  I have, but that is another tale for another time.  For this blog it is about accepting the all of the person.  Their pain, their shame, their weaknesses an their cruelty.  Then via love and acceptance - the two of you are transformed.  And this can only happen when you love the vulgarity of you.

So many misconceptions of good and evil; and sexual prowess, especially in woman is seen as a great evil.  Yet when harnessed with responsibility, it can be a beautiful and world transforming.  for imagine a woman, who loves her body, soul, mind and heart to such a degree that every man she chooses to make love to, in her own authentic self, is also transformed to the level he is ready for.  What if each time they join in loving physical play, he is solidified in his own whole self?  THIS is the power that I, and other women like me possess when ready to do so.

To close this post, I'd like to tilt my hat to the dark one who makes my loins glow at the simple site of his name.  Thank you my love.

~A.S.
( for D)

Inhale My Lust

Pan
Devil
Demon
Baphomet
Lucifer
Lover
Temptor
God of All Pleasures...
Yet, misunderstood.

A couple of years ago I remember having a conversation with a dear friend who was visited by Lucifer, as the angel, one of darkness, who isn't evil, but rather looms in the shadows.  As he dwells in darkness, what he reveals is the true light he brings.  This light is the one feared by those in religion, as what it allows is self governing, self responsibility, and also, self induced suffering.  This angel of earthly desires simply only wants you to have what you want, and yet, if you are destroyed by it - so it is.  Unlike the benevolent God in the sky who gives you what you wish based on what is best for you, and what shall raise you to your highest good, the Lord of light grants you your exact wish.  You want a job with more money? Done.  You want a better sex life? Done  You want more people to respect you? Done.  Yet... beware the adage "be careful what you wish for, or you might just get it."  So when your wish turns on you, and you are consumed by it, you turn to God and blame him for allowing you this turmoil.  Yet God knows the will of the Dark Lord, and knows that some have to learn how to achieve what they want, rather than just be given it.  Life however is the best teacher, and the master of these teachings is Lucifer.

I have talked endlessly on the power within the darkness, but never have I quite eluded to how to cultivate it for your own benefit.  Years ago, I came across a woman who offered embracing therapy.  She would bring you back to the first time you are able to recollect a feeling of shame, abandonment, pain, sorrow, or regret.  Then she guides you to embrace this feeling, and learn the lessons from it.  During my accounts with her, I learned of how far back my dense energies go. I learned to derive power from accepting those feelings.  I also learned to transmute them into light.  I do this by imagining myself as a great violet flame, of transmutable light... and every dark or dense feeling, is like a coal in my fire.  And yet, as I burn, I feed on the energy within that coal - lust for example.  While I am consuming this sensation of physical pleasure, I raise it.  Like the kundalini I raise it.  As it rises, I feel myself open up, expand and explore the world around me.  Then when it reaches the chakra to transmute it (in this case my heart - into love and healing), then I explode this coal and allow the residual energy to envelope me, changing from black to green, or pink, thus healing my body, my soul, my mind, and my heart.  The lust is no more, and all I feel is love, and lightness.

Now back to my love affair with the Dark One.

Pan is the Greek Pantheon God of Lust and Desires.  To be honest, nothing turns me on more than this fella. As his ability to transform into the delicious mate I desire for my own gratification, he also offers to reveal the areas of me that hide my gifts, talents, and passions.  Through these experiences, I learn of ways to earn money, I tap into energy to persevere through adversity, and most of all - I find healing.  In my many encounters with the Demon of Earthly pleasures, I have been gifted not just physical things, but a closer relationship with my divine self.  For the deeper I go into my abyss, the higher I rise into the heavens.  I could tell you stories of elation and pure love for another... but you may read about that on my other blog section where my experiences of higher frequencies may be found.  But this section, is for me to explore, and share with you, the delicious power of fueling the self with ones own darkness.

Our world is in polarity, this is not hidden.  But the free will of man has been spoiled by materialistic items, and selfish desires not worthy of our kind.  With all this, these wishes are granted.  Some desire to hunt a great beast, and in so achieving this feel the hatred of the world on his shoulders.  Some want to have immeasurable fame, only to be used as a slave for another's gain.  While all of these wishes were granted, what came has been what they may perceive as hell. This is the work of Lucifer, not God.  While many of these people praise God for these achievements, he passes the baton to Lucifer, with a wink and a nod.

The bible has it wrong... God and the Devil are not in opposition, but are a team.  Granting healing, joy and pleasure to all of humanity.  Yes Lucifer does heal.  Sometimes in ways unseen.  Removing tumors so a scientist can discover an atomic bomb that kills millions, or allowing a cripple to walk, only to then bomb a building.  Perhaps allowing the blind to see, and causing them to crash into a tower.  Yet, God only gets the praise for healing if it is in complete benevolence.  I have said, the balance must be kept.  We cannot appreciate love, without knowing fear; we cannot know joy, without feeling shame.  We cannot know acceptance, without experiencing hate.  So during these times of work in the 4th dimension we are supposed to reach deep into the dark recesses of ourselves to simply pull out that candle to light our way home.

Right now, Pan has brought me here, and before him Baphomet, as the one known as the devil. He is your friend and your enemy, for he is aspects of the self you deny.

~ Arthena Sophia

The End of Days

We are currently living in what is known as by some as *The End of Days* - or "lifting the veil".  This is a time of great battles and darkness to sway the path of those who hold the light away from their course.

There is no place in this physical world where evil does not live, and prey on the innocent.  Yet with all of this knowledge, and proof - we still stand divided.  I have witnessed many times the selfish will of man pitted against another simply to safe face, yet both fighting on the same side.  This type of inner conflict is something that we all must learn to not give in to.  And by inner conflict I do mean to find that place within ones self, where another's behaviour no longer disturbs your inner peace, then shine that bright example so that the daemons that walk among us, are then powerless. [sorry for the run on sentence].  Once we find that place of peace, it is then key to bring that power, that internal glow that will not be sucked in by the vacuumed vortex of chaos and destruction (different from the kind of chaos that leads to order).

There are some, so arrogant in their claims, that they waver not in their view... let them be.  You may decide to rock the boat a bit, and toy with them like a cat with a moth, but in the end it is best to allow them to unravel.  Perpaps then they will recollect themself; especially now during our blessed mercury retrograde.  In ancient times it was said that the Solar Eclipse would bring the end of the world.  Perhaps it did. As it is certain that superstition and religious ambition did clash enough to cause a shift between what is natural, and what is forbidden by the psychopathic man.  During these moments in history, at least the one recorded, an end to the world as many knew it was forever changed, as those who were accused of treason, or heresy were put to slaughter, often at the rumour of a known nemesis. 

There are clues in our media that lead us towards a world where our children spy on us, our neighbours are not known, and our very selves repressed.  We sit and watch TV or FILM hoping to dull the pain of our lives, but not ever really addressing it.  Our minds are controlled by frequencies, our thoughts are monitored via social media, and at the very root of it all, we are tracked by a portable device known as the cell phone.

Remember all of the joyous and triumphant tunes of Celebration in "Hair" of the coming of the "Age of Aquarius".  How magnificent it sounded to rejoice in the element of peace and comradery - yet how false... at least for now.  Like the legend of Pandora's box, we must deal with the darkness, the dis-ease, the dis-order first so that we may clear a path to the benevolent world I feel the majority of earthlings want.  Yet, why do we still combat one another, in a joust of wits, to prove a point that one is right?  Does it really matter when we are fighting for peace, and bounty for all, in a world free of secular oppression?

This blog entry addresses a few areas to look into, and perhaps a look into ones self.  Remember always:
"...when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

   ~ By Arthena Sophia ~
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